i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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