You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
