Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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