i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
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i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
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We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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