i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
