Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
