we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
