So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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