sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
