girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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