I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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