never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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