GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
