Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
