are you so shy because you have an std?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
