And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Terrible idea I love it
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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