Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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