all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
