What a fucking waste of an outfit
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
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