If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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