I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
