I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
