Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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