Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
