On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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