i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
