shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
