You're my little dorito
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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