Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
