I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
tell me about the fingering
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
