It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
