What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
