all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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