I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
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Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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