I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
