that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
We have started to decorate penises.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize