just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
