Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
