I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
