Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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