worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
