Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
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I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
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Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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