I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
