What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Also, beer. Big fan.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
