so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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