worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
