I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I just found puke in my bra..
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
