we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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