At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
