very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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