The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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