Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
My ATM looks so different sober.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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