I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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