U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
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