Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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