I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
