dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
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Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
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Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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