I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
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I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
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After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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