I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Are we still banned from the library?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
