Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
