Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
