You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Randomize
