The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
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I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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