Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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